I grew up with Clint Eastwood and I loved his movies. He was a man of few words. Whenever he did speak they became famous lines in Hollywood history. One of my favorite was: “Go Ahead and Make My Day”. I believe he used this line in every one of the Dirty Harry movies! He used it when he wanted to get his point across in a not so subtle way.
Behind the scenes and in the engine room of a company, family, or a group of friends there is often times a fair amount of stress. Humans can get demanding and short tempered. They often say things in the wrong way and not in a way that could be taken in a kind and loving way? I know you can fully relate that life is often unfair, stressful and has its share of anxiety. I know that I would often like to whip out the line of old Clint and say to a nagging customer, family member, or friend: “Go Ahead and Make My Day”. Then give them the stare and then spit!
But guess what… we could do that but we would soon be putting up our going out of business signs, filing out those divorce papers, or sitting the basement by ourselves. In reality we learned that the world is full of conversations that we should have, but don’t. More often than not, we bite our lip, we shut up, we shut down and we just buck it up. The paradox of this process is that we become trapped in a false life where we don’t have authentic relationships. We are all too often called to take the high road. We dig deep and muster every level of civility we possibly can. Why? Because we should and it is what Mom wanted you to do! Yet.. the little man or woman inside our head wants to scream.
“Have the Talk of A Lifetime” requires that we explore the dynamics of authentic communication. We must learn how to digging deeper into more meaningful relationships with of our family and friends and still be respectful of the emotional baggage that surrounds and often inhibits the communication process.
In our book “Dance with the Elephant”, my co-author Duane Kuss and I, introduced what we called the four pillars of building a solid foundation in human interaction and communication:
Desire for Growth
Respect is something that our society is losing very fast. I often feel that Clint Eastwood may need to dust off his saddle and ride back into town. We need to learn how to be more authentic and yet be respectful. It seems everyone is too darn busy shouting their opinions from the mountain tops to listen to anyone anymore. You might find our points interesting and helpful in your daily personal and work life to help you in a small way on this journey:
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and feelings.
You should always try to use active listening skills.
Try to always gain clear and accurate understanding of the other person’s point of view.
Try to be as optimistic and positive as possible.
Be willing to invest your time and energy to improving the life of who you interact with.
When you think about it, respect means that you have the desire and ability to recognize value, worth and virtue in others. I don’t think it is mathematically possible that you can have people respect or trust you, if you don’t respect of trust them.
“Have the Talk of A Lifetime” requires respect and action. You have to be willing to engage in conversations that are deeper than the superficial ones. You need feed the desire to want to have a stronger connection with those you care about.
The secret principle throughout human behavior is that we become what we think about. If you surround yourself with negative people and you focus in on negative thoughts and feelings; you will manifest that “negative” reality. If you surround yourself with positive people and focus on positive thoughts; you will manifest a positive reality. In short, your life is often times in direct proportion to your focus.
I will be in my basement watching Clint Eastwood movies… your welcome anytime. Go ahead and make my day! Do you feel lucky… well do you?