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Find Out How to Preserve Memories on the National Day of Listening

group of guys The National Day of Listening was created in 2008 to celebrate the unique and valuable stories that every individual possesses. Over time, this event has grown in popularity and everyone from presidents to celebrities have broadcast their personal histories to commemorate the occasion. So, how will you preserve memories on the National Day of Listening this November? We’ve got a list of tips and tricks to make this day truly memorable for you and yours!

History

StoryCorps, a national non-profit organization, created the National Day of Listening to encourage people to share their stories with the world. The event falls on the Friday following Thanksgiving, acting as an alternative to “Black Friday.” Families are encouraged to take an extra day to reflect on what’s important to them, and record those thoughts with those they love. Over time, this creates a personal timeline of family history.

Capturing Memories

Some people love to share their memories, while others tend to be a little shy. That’s why it’s important to create an open and welcoming environment to communicate freely. There are many ways to spur conversation organically. Here are a few suggestions:
  • Browse through a photo album with your loved ones and ask them to describe a few pictures. When was it taken? What was happening at the time?
  • Look through the books or artwork at your loved one’s home. Ask about the significance behind their favorite works, and when they picked each piece up.
  • Kick back and chit-chat! Get a deck of the Conversation Cards and start your conversation in a unique way!

Recording History

After generating great discussion, it’s time to get those thoughts on paper! But, there are many ways to preserve memories for the National Day of Listening. Think about which method feels the most personal, so you can create a fitting tribute to your loved one.
  • Build a scrapbook with images and captions describing favorite moments.
  • Record an oral history with a microphone and tape recorder, computer, or even a smartphone.
  • Make a video recording of your interview and share it at a family reunion.
  • Create a blog with stories from your entire family, so everyone can access the interviews from all over the world.
  • Download the Have the Talk of a Lifetime Workbook and jot down your discussions in the notes section.

Have the Talk of a Lifetime with Your Loved Ones

The National Day of Listening is a fantastic occasion to have important conversations with the ones you love. While you are all gathered after Thanksgiving, take the time to record your Talk of a Lifetime. Not sure where to start? Visit www.talkofalifetime.org, or feel free to email us at HaveTheTalkOfALifetime@gmail.com with any questions.

Thanksgiving Dinner is the Perfect Time for Sharing Memories

Pumpkin

Thanksgiving is one of the few times when our relatives gather for much-needed time together and to honor our family traditions. It’s also the perfect time to delve into the mine of our collective memories, especially those of our grandmothers and grandfathers. There’s nothing better than lighting up our children’s faces with stories of our own childhood escapades, and wouldn’t it be wonderful if they shared those stories someday with their own children?

Celebrate With Have the Talk of a Lifetime

Have the Talk of a Lifetime brings families together to talk about important memories and a loved one’s life story. These details can be important later, when it’s time to memorialize that person. What better way to honor our loved one than sharing their life events and experiences that were the most meaningful to them? These memories will also provide deep comfort in times of grief and healing. Thanksgiving provides an ideal setting for asking questions and sharing information in a way that’s natural, surrounded by family of all ages.

How Do I Initiate the Talk of a Lifetime?

People tend to open up more easily about their lives if something sparks a memory, so it might be a good idea to have each member of the family bring a few old photos or mementos to Thanksgiving dinner. These things could be passed around the table, used in a guessing game, or maybe hung on a bulletin board for everyone to see. One person can take notes, so important names and dates can be documented. Even better, make audio or video recordings of stories and conversations. You can also hold a question and answer session, asking everyone, or perhaps the eldest people there, things like:

  • What achievement in your life are you most proud of?

  • Tell me about what summers were like for you growing up?

  • If you could go anywhere you wanted tomorrow, where would it be?

  • What advice from your parents or grandparents was important to you?

  • You could even have each person at the table write a question!

Hold Onto the Memories

Once you’ve celebrated Thanksgiving with some insights from your Talk of a Lifetime, organize them in a way that preserves everything so you can find it again. If someone in your family is tech-savvy, creating a blog or family website to post information, photos, videos, and audio recordings are an easy way to store everything without taking up a lot of space. Handwritten notes and photos albums work, too. This doesn’t have to be a chore! Connecting generations of your family and keeping memories alive is fun, and it brings everyone closer together. It also makes memorializing someone’s life more meaningful and less overwhelming.

If you have any questions, please visit www.talkofalifetime.org to find a Have the Talk of a Lifetime expert near you! 73% of people who have used the Have the Talk of a Lifetime materials would recommend a funeral professional associated with the program. These funeral professionals are the best resource when it comes to planning a meaningful memorial service.

Get Conversations Flowing With These Tips

People Chatting

Isn’t it funny how sometimes conversations just take off with no effort, and other times it’s like pulling teeth to talk to someone? This can happen whether someone is a stranger or a member of your own family. When you Have the Talk of a Lifetime, conversations about the things that matter most to your loved ones and how they can be remembered and honored in a meaningful way, it’s helpful to have some tips to get that conversation flowing. Try these suggestions to get the information you’re looking for:

Keep the Tone Friendly

No one is receptive to a frown or somber tone, so make sure you’re relaxed and smiling when you start the Talk of a Lifetime. Make eye contact and respond to the other person to show that you’re listening, with a laugh, a nod, or an empathetic comment. If your overall body language is open – no crossed arms or staring off into space – then the other person will feel important and heard.

Stay Positive

It’s no fun to have conversations with people who are always complaining. Though some of the memories and discussions you have during the Talk of a Lifetime may be painful, get off to a good start with a joke or a family story that’s going to get a laugh. Even when you get to more serious topics, a positive attitude can go a long way toward understanding and coping with memories and other issues.

Small Talk is Good

Many people get impatient with small talk, but it’s an important step in communication. You may need to fill some awkward silences with comments about the weather or what you had for breakfast, but these are things anyone can relate to. Small talk is a good way to bond and move toward deeper conversations. Plus, small talk is a more natural way of starting a conversation, rather than just abruptly jumping right into a big topic like funerals and cremation.

Questions, Questions

The heart of Have the Talk of a Lifetime is engaging your loved one and asking questions about his or her life. You don’t want to come off as aggressive, so let the topics lead you along the path. Questions are a normal part of conversations, and if you’re keeping things positive and the tone friendly, then information will start coming. Comments that affirm and reinforce the information someone is sharing are important, too. “Wow,” “I didn’t know that,” “Tell me more,” are the kinds of things you can say to encourage someone to keep talking.

Keep Your Mouth Closed and Your Ears Open

You’re really there to listen, so let the other person do all the talking. It’s easy, especially if you’re relating to what someone is telling you, to jump in with your own personal story or anecdote. You don’t want to take over the conversation, so try to focus on the other person and consciously try not to dominate. If the talk stalls, that’s a good time to relate something from your life experiences to get the conversation going again.

Have the Talk of a Lifetime

Now you’re ready to have the Talk of a Lifetime! These conversation tips can get you going, and our free workbook can help, too. 60% of people who used the Have the Talk of a Lifetime materials learned something new about a loved one! Visit www.talkofalifetime.org today and find out how to get your talk started today.

Celebrate “Have the Talk of a Lifetime” Month

Tree While it’s always a great time to chat with your friends and family, November marks a special occasion. As you gather with loved ones this Fall, take time to celebrate “Have the Talk of a Lifetime” month with special activities and events designed to bring you and yours closer. Just what is this monthly celebration all about? Find out more with our guide, and start planning!

What is the Talk of a Lifetime?

The Talk of a Lifetime is one of the most important conversations that you can have. These discussions allow you and your loved ones to express what your life has meant and how you’d want to be remembered. While this may sound overwhelming at first glance, the Talk of a Lifetime can be a deeply uplifting and transformative experience that brings people together. Ask your grandparents about their favorite childhood memories or their wedding day. Ask your best friend about the greatest lessons they’ve learned in life. You’re bound to gain a deeper understanding of your loved ones, while learning how they would like to be memorialized in the future.

How do I Have the Talk of a Lifetime?

There are no strict guidelines or precise rules when it comes to the having Talk of a Lifetime. The important thing is that everyone is comfortable. Maybe you’d like to start a conversation while looking through an old photo album, or perhaps you’d like to take a day trip to a special location to reminisce on past vacations with the family. Once you are situated, ask a few questions. Here are a few examples to get you started:
  •  What was your biggest obstacle and your proudest achievement?
  •  What was the best advice that you ever received?
  •  What was your favorite vacation and why was it so special?
  •  Who is your biggest inspiration?
  • If you need more help, consider visiting the Have the Talk of a Lifetime site for free resources like activity guides and downloadable workbooks, or you can purchase a deck of Conversation Cards to help get things started.

What events can I attend?

November is full of special events to commemorate Have the Talk of a Lifetime Month. Feel free to search for activities on our event website. You and your loved ones will have a blast while attending events such as the following:
  •  Genealogy 101
  •  Scrapbooking Lessons
  •  Remembrance Services
  •  Family Tree Construction
  •  Fall Festivities
  •  And much more!
Contact us at havethetalkofalifetime@gmail.com for any questions you may have. Visit www.talkofalifetime.org today to get started.

What are the Best Cremation Options for Celebrating a Life?

Field While burials were once the more common option, cremation services continue to grow in popularity in the United States. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, 50.2% of Americans chose cremation in 2016. Cremation services can be every bit as personal and meaningful as traditional funeral services, and there are plenty of cremation options for celebrating a life well-lived. The best time to start thinking about this is now, by Having the Talk of a Lifetime to share what matters most to you and your loved ones. Learn all about the ways that you can create a beautiful cremation service that truly reflects the spirit of your loved one.

Cremation Options

You may be surprised to learn that cremation services are incredibly adaptable to suit any wishes. A simple cremation is the most basic option. The funeral home takes care of the cremation process, and the remains are given to the family. This allows the family to carry out their own memorial privately, however, many funeral professionals offer additional options like remembrance services and funeral services as a more traditional approach, so friends and family may gather and pay respects in person. You can even opt for a service with a viewing or visitation before the cremation. Speak with your funeral professional to determine what would best suit your needs.

Urns

After the cremation has taken place, the remains can be placed in an urn. Urns come in a wide variety of designs, including different materials and patterns. You can choose an ornate urn in your loved one’s favorite color, or pick out several smaller containers to share among family members. Additionally, creative options like keepsake jewelry can be a beautiful way to remember your loved one. Pendants, lockets, and bracelets provide a unique way to keep cherished memories close.

Events

Many choose to display urns or bury remains in a cemetery, but if a traditional service doesn’t feel quite right, try a modern memorial with an unconventional twist. These unique options can uplift the spirits while saying final goodbyes.
  • A butterfly release is a beautiful way to celebrate in the beauty of the outdoors.
  • A tree planting provides a wonderful opportunity to cultivate new life, while honoring your love loved one.
  • Different companies offer different scattering services by sea, air, and even fireworks!

Service

Whether you choose a personal remembrance service at a funeral home or a personal, more modern memorial somewhere else, you can create a wonderful celebration of your loved one. Consider taking some time to Have the Talk with friends and family about your favorite memories. Did your loved one have a favorite song or a favorite food? Create a list of all the qualities you loved, and then think of ways to introduce these qualities into the service. Create a custom playlist to celebrate a music aficionado, or host a potluck to memorialize your favorite foodie. This can also be a great time to Have the Talk of a Lifetime with your friends and family.

How-to Guide: Restoring Old Photos

Photo Film Among the most treasured items for every family are the old photos that help us recall the past.  They help us revive stories of past summers, family histories, laughter, sadness and so much more. These photos are important because they are all a part of our story and who we are today.  Many of those treasured photos have stood the test of time, but all photographs eventually show their age after years of handling, and some are damaged beyond what we think can be repaired. Thankfully, there are tools and methods that can help restore most, if not all of your most treasured pictures.

Electronic

This method is the most common, and you may have luck finding someone help you restore with this method. Reach out to your family members to see if anyone has experience using programs such as Photoshop, you may be surprised to discover a relative that has photo editing abilities!
  • Pros: Photographs are uploaded onto a computer, so you get an enhanced digital copy that may be replicated as many times as you’d like.
  • Cons: Professional electronic restoration requires sophisticated software, so the service can be expensive. DIY software is less precise, but more cost-effective.

Chemical

You may not have a family member that specializes in this method, but if you have an original photograph, chemical restoration may be a good option for you! A professional can bleach and redevelop the photograph to enhance clarity.
  • Pros: This method enhances the original photograph rather than creating a new picture, which may be preferable to those wanting to keep the original photo for sentimental value.
  • Cons: Chemical restoration is an exact science, so only photographic conservators can safely redevelop your original. This process is irreversible, so be careful!

Copying

This is an inexpensive and effective method that utilizes a copy of your original, rather than manipulating the original itself. Since you will always have the original, you don’t have to worry about ruining your relatives prized snapshot.
  • Pros: This method is both affordable and practical. You’ll have a spare, enhanced copy of the original photograph in case the original is ever lost. Plus, you can do everything from boosting colors to lightening stains.
  • Cons: This may not be an effective method for very old, delicate photographs due to their stability.

Airbrush

The airbrush technique requires a keen eye and a steady hand, but the results can be breathtaking. While other methods are more tech-savvy, airbrushing is the most artistic.
  • Pros: Airbrushing is done on a copy of the original, so you won’t harm the original. The artist can fix cracks, darkened areas, stains, and more by hand.
  • Cons: This service is typically around 50 to 250 dollars, and too much airbrushing may change the character of your photograph.

Have the Talk of a Lifetime with Your Loved Ones

Restoring old photos is a way to preserve the past and memories of your loved ones for years to come. Gathering and sharing old photographs and the stories that go with them is a great way to Have the Talk of a Lifetime with those you hold dear.

Celebrate National Family History Month

Child In Costume

Funeral service professionals, community groups, historians, storytellers, and genealogical and historical societies promote and celebrate National Family History Month as way to commemorate every family’s rich and deep history.

The Funeral Service Foundation and the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) have teamed up to help funeral homes across the country host events in their communities to celebrate National Family History month. During the month of October, these free events for families focus on the importance of capturing our unique stories and sharing what matters most through fun, hands-on activities. Build your family tree, carve a pumpkin, make a scrapbook, or explore genealogy all while sharing family stories. Whatever the activity, you’re sure to learn something new about your family history!

Find an event near you!

When you attend a Family History Month event you’ll receive a deck of the Have the Talk of a Lifetime Conversation Cards, created by NFDA with support of the Funeral Service Foundation. The cards are simple conversation starters that feature thoughtful questions to help you and your loved ones talk about your life stories and special memories – family vacations, favorite pastimes, pieces of advice. Discovering more about those memorable events, people, places, values and lessons learned can help bring you closer to the people you care about.

Have the Talk of a Lifetime Conversation Cards are perfect for:

  • A casual gathering of family and friends

  • Family dinner and celebrations

  • Holiday gatherings

  • Family reunions

  • Vacations/car trips

Whether you have just a few minutes in the car while running an errand or an entire weekend together with family and friends, it’s easy to start having the Talk of a Lifetime!

Have the Talk Today!

Of course, you don’t need to attend a National Family History Month event to share stories and strengthen connections with your loved ones. Anytime and is a good time to learn more about what matters most. Browse our FAQ page and resources for help getting started.

Developing Your Legacy: Ways to be Remembered

Flowers

Though everyone has different dreams and aspirations, most want to know they’ve made an impact on the world in some way. Whether you want to be remembered for your leadership at work or for your commitment to family, it’s important to think about your legacy. We’ve compiled a list of the top ways to be remembered, so you can live your best possible life in the present and build your legacy for the future in one fell swoop!

Relationship to Self

It’s not selfish to think about what you really want to get out of life. In fact, it’s vital. Take some time to really think about your passions so you can create goals that truly motivate you.

  • Figure out what makes you excited. Do you get a rush from your job? Are you more passionate about philanthropy? Do you thrive off interactions with others? Find out what makes you passionate and pursue it!

  • Create both short term and long term goals to continue your progress. Maybe that means putting aside some money from each paycheck to travel the world, or maybe you want to start junior’s college fund as soon as possible.

  • Think about your values and whether your life is in line with those standards. You can enrich your life with humanitarian pursuits like volunteering and donating to important causes.

 

Relationships to Others

While it’s crucial to think of your own needs and wants when living your life, it’s also important to connect with others. Here are some ways to connect with others in your community:

  • Create strong relationships with your family. The memories and connections that you develop in the present will be remembered for generations in the future.

  • Consider having The Talk of a Lifetime with those you love to reflect on your lives. Find out how others want to be remembered, so you can develop your own meaningful legacy.

  • Try to build others up with kindness. Whether speaking to coworkers or your kids, a little compassion can go a long way.

  • Think about how you are giving back to the world. Though your money and time are your own to spend as you wish, you may be surprised by how great it feels to give back to causes that you believe in.

  • Celebrate the achievements of others, no matter how big or small. Treat your kids to something special for the first day of school, send your grandmother flowers on her birthday, send your sibling a housewarming gift – Life’s too short not to celebrate as much as possible!

Sharing your Legacy

Whatever you hope your legacy to be, the most important thing is to ensure that you share your wishes with those you love most. Having the Talk of a Lifetime is a great way to share all the things you care about, and all the pieces of your legacy that made you unique. Having the Talk with your loved one’s now can help them celebrate you better when you die. You build your legacy everyday though your life and your actions! Take the time to talk to the ones you care about most, and let them know how you want to be remembered.

Protecting Family Memories with Photographs

Photographs

We all have those old photos, many with minimal to no identifying information, stored away at the bottom of the picture box waiting to be explored. These old photos can unlock treasured memories that may otherwise have been forgotten. Digging out those old photographs is a great way to Have the Talk of a Lifetime and open new discussions about your family history. You might learn something new about your loved ones as you work together to preserve them.

Today there are options for sharing these old photos. Whenever there’s a large family gathering on the schedule, the cameras tend to come out! Photographs are a great way to jump start your Talk of a Lifetime. Just one click can capture the vivid colors, the happy expressions, and the beautiful scenery of a memorable day. But, delicate photographs are also prone to fading, discoloration, and tearing.

They say a picture is work a thousand words. Make sure you don’t let those old memories fade away. Learn the steps to protecting those treasured photos and family memories, so you can pass these mementos to future generations!

Why Do Photographs Deteriorate?

Photographs are made of several layers: a top layer of colored gelatin, a layer of adhesive, and the photographic paper. Deterioration over time can affect each layer in different ways, resulting in a dull or discolored image. The last thing you want is to gather around the photos, only to discover they are in worse condition than the last time you reminisced over them! Here are the most common factors that can ruin your prized prints:

  • Temperature and humidity are two of the biggest factors that can wreak havoc on your photographs. Humidity can cause mold to form on the gelatin layer, while fluctuating temperatures can cause the base to warp.

  • Air pollutants can also harm your pictures. Be wary of cleaning products, oil-based paint, and other volatile chemicals. They should be stored away from your photo album.

  • While temperature and humidity can be harmful, don’t forget about light. Fluorescent and ultraviolet light can quickly deteriorate the vivid colors of your prints.

  • If a natural disaster strikes, be sure to check on your photo collection. A flood or a fire can destroy cherished pictures rapidly, so consider storing your valuable photos in a safe or other protective unit.

How Should I Store My Photographs?

While you can go as low- or high-tech as you’d like, it’s easy to store your photos by following a few simple guidelines. When storing stacks of prints, prevent sticking by placing sheets of acid-free paper or plastic between each print. If you’d prefer to use a photo album, look for terms like archival quality, or PVC and acid-free paper. This will help prolong the quality of your prints as you store them for the long term and for generations to come. Also, it may be worth your time to scan your favorite photos to create a digital copy, perhaps saving a folder of photos for each family member to reflect upon. This gives you a crystal-clear image as a backup, just in case anything happens to the original, and you will have a digital photo album of each of your loved ones for special occasions, or when you need them to honor their lives.

As you’re preparing your portfolio, consider gathering a stack of faded photographs from your loved ones, and make sure you make a family project out of the task. Talk about the events that were taking place at the time of each of the photos, and share stories of the loved ones that are in them. You can often rekindle some wonderful memories while restoring these priceless keepsakes. Be sure to record these memories in writing as they are shared. This will help avoid future family mysteries, and will ensure that those stories live on after we are gone.

For more ideas about how to share family stories and legacies, download our free Have the Talk of a Lifetime guides and workbooks.

Effective Family Communication Results in Healthy Relationships

Sunset

Every family is unique. Some families are loud and boisterous, with everyone fighting to get a word in edgewise, while others are more private and reserved. Every family has its own way of communicating, and that communication style is an integral part of building healthy relationships, as well as individual self-esteem. These tips will help ensure the effectiveness each time you and your family takes part in a Talk of a Lifetime.

What is Effective Family Communication?

Communicating with family is typically very direct and open. People often tell each other what to do, and we often have a lot of bad habits, like interrupting. Effective family communication creates an environment where family members are comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings, making relationships stronger and equipping them with the tools they need to handle other life situations. This means listening closely, being open to other ideas, and really thinking about how to respond.

Learn to Listen

Listening skills are critical for success in life – at school, work, and in relationships. Helping your children learn to really hear what someone is saying, show empathy, and provide problem solving without judgment is invaluable. Role playing is a great exercise, especially if parents and children reverse roles. Modeling the behavior you want to see is highly effective.

Tell Us How You Really Feel

Just the act of expressing feelings can dramatically decrease a person’s anger and stress. If your family often yells and argues, it might be because those emotions are coming out without the expression of what’s really going on in someone’s head. You can defuse these situations by taking a deep breath and just saying, “Stop. Tell me what’s going on.” The more everyone can practice using words to describe how they truly feel and what their goals are, the more you’ll be able to problem solve as a family unit.

Healthy Relationships

With effective family communication comes trust and bonding, which is exactly what you need when challenges come up within your family and in other environments. Children need the confidence and security that comes with being able to share things without judgment and ridicule, and a safe family environment makes them feel valued and provides them with self-esteem.

Have the Talk of a Lifetime Today

Effective communication is essential when having the Talk of a Lifetime with loved ones and friends. Communicating how you want to be remembered is so important, but often overlooked until it is too late. If you have any questions about how to begin the conversation, browse our FAQ page or contact us today.